Lockdown Diaries III

Guys, I’ve got a great apocalypse tip for you. Apocalyptip, if you like? I’ve spent the last few weeks waking up at 5am to check the news, thus ruining my day, then checking the news last thing at night, thus ruining my night. This week, I took a different tack. I buried my head so deep in the sand, when Gaz said things like ‘have you heard, in India, they are…’ I couldn’t hear him, because of the sand in my ears. As a result, I’ve been sleeping at night and smiling during the day. I feel less like learning how to use a crossbow and more like doing some cross-stitch.

Every day I ask myself, are we okay, today? Do we have enough food for today? If the answer is yes and yes, I try to put all the impending doom to one side and get on with enjoying the fact I get to be here at all.

Have you taken part in a Thursday night NHS clap yet? If not, prepare to wave goodbye to your tears as they stream down your face.

We love you NHS, key workers, delivery drivers!

I had to wonder if there was any point taking part. We live so remotely, our nearest neighbour doesn’t even complain when we party, so as much as I love the notion, it felt like my own contribution would be clapping into the wind. Nevertheless, it would still make me feel connected to the nation and I need that right now, so I went outside at 8pm last week and my heart melted on the pavement as I heard my neighbours clanging pots and pans. I whooped and cheered and felt ALL the feels.

Tonight (or whenever you want to) you can go further. Text “clap” to 70507, which will trigger a £5 donation to NHS Charities Together. The “One Million Claps” appeal is a glorious way to turn our appreciation into action. I’ll be doing it bang on 8pm, in between claps.

I’ve taken to watching Some Good News with John Krasinski, which might just be the most adorable thing on the internet. I defy you not to cry as you watch this montage of the ways in which we’re all clapping for our health services around the world. Look at those police cars flashing their lights outside hospitals! It’s just too beautiful!

John Krasinski’s Some Good News is a round up of all the good things all the good humans are doing all around the world during this crisis. It is so cute. Here’s episode two, which had me crying at my desk first thing in the morning:

I’ve been meaning to see Hamilton for years but always stopped myself because of the ticket price. SOD THAT. As soon as we get through this, I’m going to see Hamilton. Warning - I will cry again.

And what’s the funniest thing Pip said this week, you ask? This one is telling of the high regard in which she keeps Gaz, seeing as they’re often in cahoots about things like not rationing the chocolate. I was telling her the forecast suggested sunshine this weekend. ‘I really hope it is sunny,’ I said. ‘Who do I have to see about making it so? God? Mother Nature?’

‘Gareth,’ Pip quipped.

Pip & Gaz. Mostly in chocolate related cahoots.

Controlling the chocolate and the weather, our Gaz. And, now I come to think of it, the central heating, the internet, the oil tank, all our phones and laptops. He really is an omnipotent superpower round here. Especially now he’s round here full time. He’s been saying for years that what this place needs is a full time groundsman and now he is it. He also applied for the prestigious role of tea-maker for me, the sole breadwinner in this marriage. His CV wasn’t really up to the task but I took pity on him and gave him the job. The pay’s awful, there’s no pension and he can forget about annual leave, but he does get to sleep with the boss.

I see trees of green, red roses too… on my government-approved once-a-day-walked-here-from-home-quick-spot-of-exercise.